interview by Shristi Jaiswal

A new day begins and you go by living it like you did yesterday, while all this time the earth revolves just the same. Every so often you read something riveting, the kind that casts you through the cosmos. You feel the words echoing through and suddenly, the world is nothing like you once knew. Like looking through a kaleidoscope, you recognise things in brand new colours even though nothing material’s changed and well, the world revolves just the same.

Stories and poetries have the eminent power to alter our reality. The words may well describe something as trivial as driving past the ocean, but a pen in the correct hands, through captivating analogies can evoke emotions secluded within the deepest realms of our hearts.

Orion Carloto, an L.A based author is one such writer who through her mesmeric writings about innate feelings has managed to create a tight knit community of readers. She has previously worked with many major brands and has been successful in establishing her presence as a writer who also dabbles in singing, photography and all things fashion. During our call, she talked about her upcoming book Film for Her, due to release this fall, along with things, people and places that define her best.

What drew you to start writing when you were younger?

I have this early memory of when I was in the first grade and my teacher had read us Shel Silverstein. I was thoroughly fascinated by his poetry and I think that definitely drew my interest towards writing at a young age. From then on I always found writing- whether it was journaling or just writing something in my diary- quite therapeutic as a kid. Nonetheless, it wasn’t until High School that I began to learn more about poetry and the era of Romanticism. I felt really drawn to it and found that to be an ideal place where my heartbreak could live. So I would say when I was sixteen or seventeen was when the journey truly began for me.

Did you always know that you wanted to publish your own book of poetry or was it something spontaneous?

A little bit of both! I always admired authors but that profession seemed unrealistic for me to pursue as I grew up in a really small town where people graduated, went onto college and did traditional things. Therefore, writing a book seemed like a distant dream that I couldn’t accomplish. All the same, I wrote regardless. I knew that I wanted to do something with my writings and not just let it live on the internet. I kept trying to the best of my ability to use my platform and luckily, I ended up booking a deal with my dream publisher. Therefore that distant dream felt more like a reality to me and it didn’t seem as unrealistic as I had made it out to be in my head.

What excites you most about film photography?

Oh, I love film photography! Taking photographs and not knowing what the outcome will be only adds to the admiration for the unknown. Then there’s always the surprise you get once you get your film back! Hence for me, film always holds this nostalgic and romantic feeling that makes the captured moment all the more special.

“Materials things will never matter unless you are a truly, genuinely kind person and not just to people around you but to yourself.”

So you recently spent a month in Paris. What would you say was the highlight of your trip?

 Well, I lived in a routine while in Paris- woke up at the same time, went to the same café, ordered the same thing- so a part of me wants to says that a highlight would be the friendship that I had come to share with the waiters working in the cafe. I didn’t know anybody there so this sense of closeness was a much welcome break from the monotony. Another highlight for me was that Paris made me learn so much about myself. I went to the city thinking that that I would have a great time being alone and spending time with myself. However when I got there, so much of my time was spent being miserable as earlier I hadn’t realised how alone I would really be. So there lay an opportunity for me to understand myself more and be okay with that loneliness that I felt and I grew from it.

What inspired you the most about being in Paris that significantly contributed to your writing process for your upcoming book Film for Her?

I spent a good chunk of my time there observing everybody around me. I didn’t understand anyone and I’m sure a lot of people didn’t understand me so that sense of unfamiliarity was very inspiring. Also there comes the cliché of every writer going to Paris and writing something, so that felt really cool- being a writer in Paris felt pretty romantic.

How is Film for Her different from Flux in respect to the forms of writing?

I taped more into short stories in this book so you’ll find a collection of longer pieces in there.

What message do you seek to give through your new book?

 Film for Her definitely takes a different turn than what Flux did. There’s growth in respect to the writing but also, I found myself being a lot more vulnerable in terms of sharing my experiences. I wrote Flux when I was heartbroken so the book hovered on feelings of anger and resentment. However, over the past three years I learnt to not look at heartbreaks in the trials and tribulations of my life with anger and angst but to rather find peace in that. Overall, the message is that we are young and we should seek to romanticize every moment in our lives. Life isn’t just about the highs and lows; I strongly believe that the most important moments are those that happen between them.

How would you describe your typical day in LA?

 Right now it’s very slow. Given the current circumstances, I wake up at around eleven everyday though I have been trying to work on that! Honestly, I’m all for sleep as I get most of my work done during nights. So during the day I like to sleep in a little, make coffee and tend to my cats. I had been neglecting reading the past year so I have taken this time to recalibrate my brain and read more. If I’m lucky I get to see a friend or two and hangout with them. Furthermore I have a projector at home so I have been spending a lot of my time watching Criterion Collection films!

“I fiercely stick by the rule that we should write with everything we have within us. True writing comes only when you are deeply in touch with your emotions.”

One thing you are thankful for?

I’m thankful for my parents. I have always been so grateful for how accepting they have been in terms of everything that I do- my sexuality, my choice of career, etc. Being a kid of an immigrant parent there’s this pressure to fulfil the American dream and be something that they couldn’t be. Though I didn’t go to college to become a doctor or a lawyer, they have always been very accepting and proud of my choices.

A subject/topic that you are passionate about?

This is so ridiculous but anything that has to do with crime and mystery- I absolutely love! It’s all so intriguing and only last night I stayed up till four am watching this YouTube account called Crime Scene Clean up! These people were cleaning up crime scene and though some would say it’s gross, I found it so cool!

A poetry written by you that is your absolute favourite?

It’s probably some of the stuff from my new book Film for Her. But one that I have shared online and I really like is called Patron Saint of Letting Go.

What is your remedy for a writer’s block?

Two things- one is definitely read a lot. Every time before I write, I always read something just so my brain is in that mode. Second, I read this quote that said writers block isn’t real, it’s just fear of writing bad things. So every time since I had writers block this quote had helped me a lot. Whenever I’m in a rut I make it a point to write something, anything- doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. Looking back, even if you write something substandard you can always pull something useful out of it.

If you could live anywhere in the world except for LA where would you go?

I think I would probably live in Italy; probably a little cottage by the beach with a garden or something.

A book you believe has changed the way you look at life?

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho was the reason I moved to New York which then soon led me to Los Angeles. Basically it got me out of my hometown and nudged me to go explore the world.

One form of art that you think is underrated?

I think Baroque paintings and Renaissance art aren’t as popular as they should be nowadays. I don’t think anybody has a deep appreciation for it anymore as they used to. People today, I feel, are more for contemporary and modern art.

What do you like to do in your time alone?

If I’m alone and doing absolutely nothing, I would spend an unhealthy amount of time surfing You Tube and Vimeo finding unnecessary videos to watch. I’m all about the most random part of the internet!

Road trips or plane rides?

Definitely road trips! They are more fun.

Do you have any secret spots in LA?

I have one little spot, it’s in Malibu. I actually found it during the quarantine. I was out for a ride, looking for a place to read when I came across it. It’s this spot along the PCH where there is this massive tree. I sit underneath it and it’s perfect for just looking out at the ocean and reading.

One thing your readers don’t know about you?

Not a lot of people know that I’m the youngest of my five siblings. They all have kids and I’m the fun cool aunt that travels and comes back every holiday!

What artist, living or dead would you say you look up to the most?

Amy Winehouse! I even have tattoo as a tribute to her. My dad would play her music a lot so growing up I always admired everything about her- her authenticity, her writing, her music, etc.

Three words that describe you best?

I would say sensitive which would then go along with tender but also effervescent. I know there’s juxtaposition between the two but I believe that nobody’s two dimensional.

“When I feel sad or depressed I try to remind myself that I have people who love me, a roof over my head, cats whom I love and that there’s nothing detrimentally wrong with me.”

You are passionate about design, how would you describe your aesthetic?

It’s kind of all over the place. I just moved into my new home and I’m in the process of designing my house. I do like to mix French, baroque, mid- century, seventies- ultimately it’s a mix between everything.

If there was an autobiography written about you, what would it be called?

 Well, once my friends and I were having this random discussion that if we were rappers, what would our rapper names be and as a joke they gave me the name Beige Baby!

A motto that you wholeheartedly follow as a writer?

I think there’s a certain sensitive embarrassment that people feel while writing in a journal. Being that those are particularly personal they get caught up in a fear that someone might read them. Nonetheless I fiercely stick by the rule that we should write with everything we have within us. True writing comes only when you are deeply in touch with your emotions. Even if you feel ridiculous writing it, just know that your future self will thank you.

At this point in your life do you feel at content?

I think this year in particular has been a year of growth. I have been spending so much time with myself and have thus learnt a lot of things that I hadn’t yet acknowledged or habits that I now recognise limited my potential. People think that a year of tangible growth is all about meditation and finding your highest self but it’s actually going really low and coming out of it better than before. I still have a lot to learn but at this very moment in my life I would say that I feel at content with what I know and who I am.

When did you realise that you were truly happy with everything that you have achieved so far?

There are times when I’m not truly happy with everything I have achieved because there’s still so much that I want to accomplish. But when I look back and dwell upon the circumstances that I grew up in I realise how radically my life has changed. So I’m very grateful that I don’t have to go through the same problems that I used to. I desperately try to not take that for granted. When I feel sad or depressed I try to remind myself that I have people who love me, a roof over my head, cats whom I love and that there’s nothing detrimentally wrong with me. Thus, I try to sit back and really enjoy the moment that I’m in at present.

What qualities do you think a person must have in order to succeed in life?

Kindness, always! Materials things will never matter unless you are a truly, genuinely kind person and not just to people around you but to yourself. There was a time when I was kind to everyone but never to myself. I now realise that being kind to myself was the missing puzzle piece that finally led to me find happiness and be okay with the obstacles that I face knowing that that is the way of life.

Any quote you want to leave us with?

This is my favourite quote by Patti Smith: Build a good name. Keep your name clean. Don’t make compromises, don’t worry about making a bunch of money or being successful — be concerned with doing good work and make the right choices and protect your work. And if you build a good name, eventually, that name will be its own currency.

www.youtube.com/channel
www.instagram.com/orionvanessa
www.orioncarloto.com

The post Learning to Romanticize Life with Orion Carloto- In Conversation with L.A Based Author of Flux and Film for Her appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Yes, I’m a minimalist. Minimalism enhances my happiness hormones to focus on strength and power. Minimalism and shapes work well in this enchanting analogue series starring beauty Nona Soley photographed by Borja Álvarez on film.

Borja Álvarez also contributed to our current print Issue 36.

Model @nonasobo
Photography by @borjafilms

The post Minimalism appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Summer is drawing to an end, and just for little bit more time we want to cherish those sun-kissed days before the first colourful autumn leaves appear in front of our windows. So just right in time for that we present you the images of London based Valentina Gurian, who decided to spent her summer back home in Italy, capturing typical moments that characterize summertime in the north-middle of Italy.

“I’m Valentina, I’m 27 and I live in London but I’m originally from Venice, Italy. After spending the whole lockdown in the UK I decided to go back to Italy for a couple of weeks to spend the summer with my friends and family, I grew up close to the seaside and it’s safe to say the sea is one of the things I miss most and I always tell my English friends about how summer in Italy is special and unique, so I brought my analog camera with me to Venice and Riviera Romagnola to try to catch the typical moments that characterize summertime in the north-middle of Italy; midnight pasta, old people sunbathing, crosswords at the beach, drinks by the canal. All these things could look traditional and part of a routine for Italian people still living in the country but living these moments for me after I moved out of Italy made me appreciate them like never before, especially in these weird times we’re going through, I think that taking a moment to enjoy the most simple things is really bliss.”

Pictures were shot with Olympus m1.

Valentina also has an analog diary called Quarantinemagazine

The post Italian summer: Midnight pasta and crosswords at the beach appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

It’s impossible not to get in your feels as soon as you press the play button on WINGZ. Having gained widespread acclaim over the past months on the back of hotly received EP Very Alone, rising Atlanta based melodic rapper Zaia today reveals the stellar video for EP track WINGZ. Zaia has established himself as an artist to watch since bursting onto the scene last year…and deservedly so!

Enjoy his amazing touching and fresh piece above:

zaiavibes.com

The post Zaia releases video for his inspiring new song WINGZ appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Words by Jennifer Kresina
header photo by www.instagram.com/sirius.film

I was sitting outside a café, waiting for a friend with a cool glass of rosé for company, when I first heard the words that would etch themselves into my brain like a fresh tattoo.  “Well, you know what they say: youth is wasted on the young.”  I looked in the direction of the voices and saw two women, not much older than myself, deep in conversation.  I paid no more attention to their conversation and instead pulled out a small notebook from my backpack.  I jotted down the quote just as my friend appeared, knowing that those wise words by George Bernard Shaw held a secret and I was going to unlock it.

Over the next weeks, my life was busy, stressful and full of the tedious responsibilities of being an adult.  I didn’t open my notebook back to that page where I had quickly scribbled “youth is wasted on the young”, but more often than not, the quote would appear when I closed my eyes, as I drifted off to sleep.  My dreams would be filled with memories of my childhood: jumping off the second story of our barn with my sisters, without the slightest concern of breaking a leg or getting hurt; giving myself a mud bath in a dirty pond, only to discover my body covered in leeches when the mud was rinsed off; running back into the ocean after a wave had pushed me under and pounded me against the ocean floor; sharing my ice cream with my sister when only minutes before I had been so mad I pulled her hair.  I was, like all children, fearless, forgiving, loving and carefree.

“When did I become so jaded?  Was this “wisdom”? Had I lived too much or not enough?”

In the morning after a dream-filled night, I would wake with a feeling of nostalgia so heavy it would be hard to get out of bed.  I would lay there, reflecting on my life, on myself.  Unlike my childhood self, I no longer loved with abandon.  I still loved, but after getting hurt in relationships, I now loved with conditions, holding pieces of myself back in a small fortress I had built around my heart.  I no longer dove head first into powerful waves that would have left me undaunted as a child.  I was too afraid of getting knocked down.  I would think of all the things I no longer do, too afraid of getting hurt, heartbroken or sick.  When did I become so jaded?  Was this “wisdom”? Had I lived too much or not enough?

George Bernard Shaw’s words rolled around in my head like an itch I couldn’t scratch.  Behind his words, the message was clear: we don’t appreciate what we have when we have it.  I had the uneasy feeling that I had lived the best years of my life and had wasted them.  Adult life had so many obligations and many of them were not fun: paying taxes, going to the doctor, buying groceries, paying bills, etc.  I felt tired and had lost that childhood, unfaltering faith that everything would be ok.

“I needed to look at life more simply, like a child, knowing that even if things don’t work out the way I want, everything is going to be ok.”

My life went on and the secret remained a mystery.  I had drinks with friends and we would talk about life: the baggage we carried from our pasts into our present, our worries about the future in the increasingly uncertain world that was our new reality.  Sometimes we danced.  Sometimes we drank too much. For a tiny moment in time, it would seem like everything was going to be ok, but these moments were only small band-aids over a gaping wound.

One afternoon, outside another café, with iced coffees instead of cool glasses of rosé, I was discussing my most recent relationship disaster.  In a moment of attempted self-reflection, I told my friend that we can’t change other people, only ourselves.  As suddenly as the words left my mouth, the secret to George Bernard Shaw’s words dawned on me.  We can only change ourselves.  What if we stopped bringing our past baggage, what we often mislabel as “wisdom”, into the present? What if we stopped worrying tirelessly about a future that is yet to come?  My best years weren’t behind me-they were right here and right now.  I was making life too complicated-the weight of my past and my future was pushing me down and keeping me from enjoying the present.  I needed to look at life more simply, like a child, knowing that even if things don’t work out the way I want, everything is going to be ok.  If I can do that, if I can change myself, then I can once again live and love with abandon.  If I can be fearless again, even in the face of the knowledge that tomorrow isn’t promised, then maybe, next time, I can dive headfirst into that wave that might knock me down and pound me against the ocean floor.

The post Youth is Wasted on the Young appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

“Here in Spain, it’s always getting harder and harder to find remote locations and distant places. However, there are still some undiscovered spots where you can feel that only many miles away, there are a few people again.” tells us Mario Lomas about his incredible beautiful new C-Heads Exclusive series starring natural muse Michelle. “In the mountains there are some run creeks that form small natural pools. If you walk enough miles, you can enjoy some of this wonderful places where you really feel you are alone in the world. During this summer Michelle and I have taken the opportunity to get away from civilization, from Covid and from our phones, and one of those days we took some time to make this pictures.” We are happy you did!

Model: Michelle  – www.instagram.com/michellealbietz
Photography by Mario Lomas  – www.instagram.com/dewerf

The post Getting away from it all appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Enjoy a wonderful relaxed series starring Renie Charlton of Gingersnap Models photographed by Nirish Shakya (Nizzah) at Guildford, Surrey, UK.

Nizzah: “Nature is my favourite place to shoot at. Having grown up next to a river, rivers always hold a special place in my heart. But living in London, it’s not easy to access safe bodies of water to swim in. We got pretty lucky with this spot with great weather and a quiet location where Renie and I just chilled and created some beautiful images with a lot of nature.”

Renie: “My favourite type of shoots are the ones where it’s just the model and the photographer. It allows you both to collaborate on ideas and visions without any judgement. We found a beautiful location to shoot at and had the freedom to do whatever we liked. Personally, I love the way these photos turned out and it was a pleasure to work with such a laid back and relaxed photographer.”

Photographer: Nirish Shakya (Nizzah), @nizzah, nizzah.com 
Model: Renie Charlton @renie_charlton
Agency: Gingersnap Models, UK
Location: Guildford, Surrey, UK

The post Relaxing by the River with Renie appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Words and Photography by Yael Cohen

My favorite floral dress was an accidental buy. It was purchased many summers ago and still, it holds. It holds the memories of that summer we drove cross country with your car barely making those steep hills, when we huddled around a bonfire and it took two washes to get rid of that small smoke. It traveled with me to different continents, to the two countries I call home. It has a thin fabric, soft to the touch. Adorned with an all-over floral pattern, pale slate and red roses to be exact, it has a fit and flare cut, wavy at the bottom, sleeveless at the top. That floral dress imparts, this is June to September, this is warmth, this is my favorite memory of you. I haven’t worn it since last spring, but there is a certain comfort in knowing it’s a door away, in my bedroom closet filled still with winter coats, because who here in New York City has extra closet space. Tucked away between a kimono and a jumper my sister gave me, sits comfortably an idea indebted to humid pillowy air: A floral pattern saying, ‘Here, this’ll put some color in your cheeks,’ here is summer in fabric form. It’s the closest I’ll get to that fleeting feeling of endless sun. I’m jonesing for more.

“That floral dress imparts, this is June to September, this is warmth, this is my favorite memory of you.”

That a camouflaged summer went on for what felt like a span of years, the beat of the day shifting from weeks to months in a constant bustle of attention directed everywhere, I noticed a continued shift to the subject of mobility; confusion, canceled trips and plans became part of the jargon. I called upon the web of former summers where the sweet hum of cicadas, the clinking of wine glasses, and long lavender nights with friends, cooking together in tiny kitchens in soft dim lights, were the norm. When the lone solace of staying indoors is the AC working tirelessly to offer some kind of reprieve (which kind, I am not entirely sure) it’s that spirit of the floral dress I miss most. Its palpable, itinerant presence tearing down the wall of the unattainable and desirable, in turn making everything appear hazy and nostalgic. How can summer be over when there are still moments to be had?

In the many attempts for summer escapism, I picked up William Eggelston’s book of portraits, the warm hues of the south, burning reds and yellows, signifying quintessential summer. I flipped through and came across a photograph of a long-haired girl laying on her back on the grass. Her dress takes over the majority of the picture plane, and there it is again — the gleaming, the cotton candy, and the plodding of the floral; the print on the dress seems as though actual roses are making their way out of the ground. Bright and mauvish-crimson. The unfading colors in the photo are mesmerizing, a trait that goes hand in hand with an Eggleston image (partly due to his unique color developing method, the dye transfer.
“Eggleston color” is a familiar phrase often used by directors when instructing cinematographers — think Sofia Coppola’s The Virgin Suicides). The photo has a magenta undertone, a color accent of a thin violet layer that saturates the entire frame. The girl’s lips, her strawberry blond hair, shimmer with a rosette hue. Dividing the frame in half, the buttons on her dress create a straight line down, a symmetrical X-shape is formed by the tilt of her head to the right and the stretch of her arms to infinity. The camera’s soft focus on her resting head across the fitted dress distills the sultry feeling of summer of time suspended. Framed from overhead, it is an evocation of lazing away, in the taint of placidity, a crystallization of an abstract idea of carefreeness that is accessible through the deployment of an aesthetic, that of a dress and its powerful appeal. It is almost too much to look at.

“How can summer be over when there are still moments to be had?”

In some sort of magical realism moment of a rather ineffable situation, in which the plot of our lives does not follow a typical narrative arc with a clear beginning, middle, and end, the idea that a floral dress in its beguilement can provide access to respite has a strong and effective pull. A powerful and delighted escape, gamboling in meadows and grass and flowers, it’s a notion of emancipation, to indulge in fantasy dressing up and, hey, acting out. It could be that my mind is just clouded, that the perpetually of-the-moment idea of the dress seems that more romanticized simply because it is distant. I try to conclude what it says about this particular summer — its limitations — its inertia, seems currently unfitting.

My intention was not the weaving of sartorial vocabulary imbued with spark and elan, but rather the delving into the allure of the floral dress as it has always carved a space in the summer wardrobe, its spirit as light as air. To expand on the dress’s established motifs is to locate newfound meaning between fantasy and escapism, the link between mobility and possibility, and the tension between who we are at this moment, where we are heading, and who we want to be as we choose what we wear and face the world. When there is so much convulsion and change in the air, the compulsion to think about space, the possibility of occupying it freely — no mask, just sun — the floral dress stands in as a commitment to providing a morale boost, an insouciance sensibility, an optimistic, laid-back attitude, perhaps? So if I say summer to you, I make a conscious effort to stare down at this illusion, trying to decide whether it is the window or the mirror. Above all, I try to decipher the carefree feeling this fabric — this dress, this season — is unwaveringly trying to emit, compared to the uncertainty of the future, compared to dissonant continuous living.

“When there is so much convulsion and change in the air, — the floral dress stands in as a commitment to providing a morale boost, an insouciance sensibility, an optimistic, laid-back attitude, perhaps?”

The post A Case for the Floral Dress: A Blossoms’ Ode to a Lost Summer appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

words by ODM
photo by Florian Kalotay

Although, it isn’t often talked about in this way, but a piano is actually a percussive instrument, a mechanical drum with eighty eight hammers that just happen to be hitting strings. Hence, when it’s played right, it can cast some serious spells, because it possesses the power of a drum, but it can sing its heart out, as well! Bálint Dobozi’s music draws from this multi-faceted nature of the piano. Technically, it can be filed away under “club music”, but really, it’s so much more than that!

Atlas, the first single from his debut full-length titled Avarnes (a creative spelling of awareness), sounds like something that the French avant-garde composer Erik Satie would write, but after spending a weekend out clubbing. It’s a piano piece, but it has the swing of a soft techno jam. The pulse is heavy and the whole thing is full of drive, even if it’s mostly implied! And it’s still very lyrical, too, pensive and full of melancholy. As per the press release, it’s a song that was written after a journey through the Atlas mountain range. According to its creator, it’s about the tug-a-war between the power you draw from the feeling of having this unbound freedom and the humility that comes along with the experience. It’s also about being lost, like physically lost, and dealing with the brutality of raw elements  as in man vs nature. The composition feels like a a winding journey, one that carries you gently all the while it puts you under its spell.

Avarness will be out on October 16th, and from what we heard so far, it’s full of songs that were made from the sounds sourced from a century-old piano. This instrument was played on, banged on, strummed – you name it! The sounds that it produced were then processed, sometimes to the point where you wouldn’t ever recognise that they originally came from a real piano. One thing to remember: most of the compositions found on the record are closer to a club aesthetic, Atlas, in fact, is more of an anomaly on here. Bálint Dobozi is a Swiss composer / producer and musical director, you might have heard him on some of the freaky productions from the man known as Kalabrese.

balintdobozi.com
www.instagram.com/balintdobozi

The post Bálint Dobozi – Premiere of His New Single Atlas appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

“I’d just met Tsele but the conversation flowed easily, he seemed comfortable in the strangeness of the world as I did.” tells us model Lo about her series with photographer Tsele Tommy Nthane. “We drove out an hour chasing the sunset light, a last minute shoot we decided on a few hours prior. I feel like the shoot itself captured some craving I have to run away somewhere quieter yet still all the while being my usual self.”

Model: @low_zo_
Photographer: @melanateyourmood

The post Being herself appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

interview by Shristi Jaiswal

Reading, learning, photography and skateboarding; a few of the many things that Ryan Winter, a New York based model, loves to immerse himself in. Living in one of the greatest city on earth is not always as euphoric as the movies make it out to be. Often one feels overwhelmed among the bustle and tries to make a world within the one they live in in order to feel a sense of peacefulness and familiarity.

During our conversation with Ryan, we learnt how he loves to read books that invokes critical thoughts and ideas, skateboard around with close friends and work with people that often inspire him. Further, he also talks about matters which are highly relevant in our ever changing world, expressing his views on political and philosophical matters that have come to dominate our current society as a whole.

What called you to the city New York?

I had just finished college and my agency that I worked with back in Minnesota was bringing models to New York hence, I spontaneously decided to jump on the bandwagon and come along. Here, a few agencies wanted to me sign me and ultimately I decided to sign a contract with New York Models I went home to pack all my stuff to finally move here for good. It was a seventy two hour decision and the path of least resistance.

Why did you choose modelling as a career?

It all started while I was in college. I worked as a barista then so modelling was like my job on the side. I was lost as I had just broken up with a girl I dated in college. I didn’t know where my life was going so the spur of the moment decision to move to New York felt right. I thought I would work in the city for a year in order to “find myself” like most people say when they first move here. Nevertheless it’s been four years since that decision and I have been a model since.

What in your opinion makes being a model an interesting job?

I guess most of what I do isn’t that interesting. Ultimately I’m standing around clothes. The most interesting thing about modelling hasn’t been any particular moment. It’s just meeting so many creative people who have been able to turn their passion into a job.

How has the current scenario with Covid and quarantine affected your career plans?

Well, things have been slow for sure. I didn’t work from March eleventh till mid-August. The city was completely shut down and there was absolutely nothing going on. Now however things have started to pick back up. I went to work just a few days ago and the surroundings in the sets have completely changed.  There are much fewer people, the makeup artists have to be certified, people are getting regularly tested so all in all it’s been an interesting experience.

You dabble into film photography, what intrigues you most about it?

All of my friends in New York whom I go skateboarding with are all photographers so they always take cool photos of me and all of us hanging out together. I felt bad that I couldn’t give anything back to them so I ordered a bunch of disposable cameras off the internet and started documenting my life. This was my way to give back to my friends because they gave so much to me. I enjoyed it a lot and soon started clicking pictures of moments and things that I think look cool. So it started out as this thing that I do for my friends and now it’s just something that I do on the side for fun.

“I used to be a treadmill guy but now I love running outside midst nature.”

Can you describe to us your ideal day?

For my ideal day I would be back home so I could see my family. I would wake up early, make coffee and then go out and be among nature, maybe go on a hike or go swimming in the lake. The day would then end with me having dinner with my family and enjoying my mom’s delicious cooking.

A song/album you have on loop?

I have the song Astrovan by Mt. Joy on repeat. Also, I have been listening to Field Medic a lot.

A hobby you have picked up during this lockdown?

Not a hobby exactly but I’ve been enjoying working out outside a lot. The gyms have been opening up but I don’t think I’m going to go back. I used to be a treadmill guy but now I love running outside midst nature.

Books that you believe has changed the way you look at life?

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith is really good and very well written. It’s a coming of age novel about a Brooklyn that doesn’t exist anymore, an America that doesn’t exist anymore. Reading it in the MeToo era where we are having this reckoning around the ways that women are treated in society, I think it was really interesting and illuminating. As an adult man it was really eye opening to read what was expected of women during that time in America and what women had to accept that are no longer okay. Another book called Bone by Yrsa Daley-Ward is amazing. It helped me understand a woman’s pain in a relationship that is caused by the man. It made me realise my own maybe problematic behaviours in relationships. Also I really loved Revolutionary Road, it’s a classic.

“I don’t know if we can democratically change an undemocratic system and the farther down the road we go the harder it will get.”

You are quite vocal about politics so, with the current political scenario in mind, would you say that our world is leaning towards a “dystopian future?” What are your thoughts about it?

I think my political knowledge is very America centric. Therefore speaking domestically, the dystopian future seems plausible and I really hope that I’m wrong. I’m hopeful that we can come out of this better and stronger. I hope that there are democratic reforms such that we don’t slide into autocracy or plutocracy.

Currently we can see democratic decline happening all over the world in all types of democracies. We see a rigging of electoral systems to prevent people from voting- a system where votes of certain people matters less. There is this thing in American politics where people talk so much about policy and I think policies are really important for example healthcare. That’s a universal right and I strongly believe that everyone should be provided the same.

Republicans control so many branches of government but they don’t seem to have a lot of interest in actually governing so the system in a lot of ways has been tarnished. I think we need to spend more time talking about how we can reform the system such that our democracy functions. I don’t know if we can democratically change an undemocratic system and the farther down the road we go the harder it will get.

You are a big fan of Kurt Vonnegut, what themes in his writing would you say fascinate you the most and why?

The exploration of whether or not we have free will. I think it’s really interesting the way he ponders over this theme. There’s a thing about Vonnegut’s writing where he throws light upon his personal dissatisfaction with the world but it still somehow retains hope for a world that could be. In his writing you see the ugliness of life but you still come out of it hoping for the best. I think that’s really endearing. In his stories he disassociates a lot from regular activities. The literary technique of making activities as simple as making coffee seem foreign and strange is pretty commendable.

Do you read books as a form of escape or as a means to help deconstruct reality?

Definitely as a means to deconstruct reality. We never read the same book twice; even if we do we are at a different point in life, a different person so we pull out new thoughts and ideas from the book. For me personally, it’s a search for someone else to put into words my own experiences of reality in ways I can’t.

A subject/topic you are passionate about?

I would say environmental policy. I have a degree in environmental science and policy from the University of Minnesota. Though conversations about our environment, sustainability and such tends to happen on the side, I think they are really important and deserves to be on the spotlight especially now.

A genre that is your absolute favourite? Why?

I don’t really read genre specific books. I like a little bit of every genre for example political literature, nonfiction, creative nonfiction, science- fiction, etc.

“I feel much more inspired when I leave the city. I like when I leave the city and have space.”

A principle that you diligently follow?

Wherever you go that’s where you are. There are times when I think that my life would have been better if I were back home in Minnesota but ultimately I think a lot of things that I dislike reside within me and not outside. A change in location will not change the degree of my own happiness.

An artist, living or dead, you admire the most?

I’m really into art created by André Fortes. I have two of his art pieces hanging on my wall. I think his art is very smart and psychedelic. He makes you question assumptions about reality that you hold in interesting ways without necessarily trying to be edgy.

What inspires you most about NYC?

I don’t know. I feel much more inspired when I leave the city. Few weeks ago my girlfriend and I were camping out on Long Island. I felt really inspired there just like I do in places like Minnesota and out west in California. The city for me feels too big and overwhelming. I like when I leave the city and have space.

A place in the city that’s your escape away from all the bustle?

There’s a park by my house where I always go to. I work out there on a regular basis and in doing so have made some good friends. I usually leave my phone at home and also go there to read. On weekends I like to go to the farmers market. It’s my little escape from the city and I feel a little bit more at peace there.

Which city would you move to if not New York?

Probably Los Angeles; I have so many friends there and I absolutely love the weather.

Would you say you feel at content with the life that you have made for yourself?

Yeah, on the whole I think it’s pretty good and that I have done a good job.

Any quote you want to leave us with?

I’ll leave with one of Kurt Vonnegut’s quote, Love whoever is around to be loved.

www.instagram.com/rswinter

all images provided by Ryan Winter

The post New York Based Model, Ryan Winter talks about Books, Politics and his Journey so far. appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

A warm welcome to Barcelona based photographer Lázaro Scabbia. In his debut C-Heads Exclusive series he teamed up with gorgeous model Júlia and make-up artist Ari Torrents.

“This story unfolds an ordinary afternoon. Records, vintage jeans, food and lots of sensuality…”

Photography by Lázaro Scabbia @scabbiaferro
Polaroid photos and Make-Up and Hair by Ari Torrents @irarimakeup
Model: Júlia @julsjuliette

The post An Ordinary Afternoon appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Photographer Lithai Pletaine and model Dasha spend one of the last days of summer together. While the sun is out and the days are still long, it’s the perfect time to do some outdoorsy activities. Like doing the laundry or sunbathing, right?

“It was one of the last hot day of Tel Aviv summer with intense heat. We wanted to tan and be nude and so we went to Dasha’s friend’s rooftop. It was amazing to rediscover how unique all the old buildings in the city center and how much fun it is to take pictures on film with Dasha.”

model – @dashalevkovich
Photographer @lithaipletain

The post Last days of summer with Dasha appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Photo by Axel Kabundji

With their upcoming project The Amanda Tape, LA based genre hybrid duo THEY. team up with hip hop legend Juicy J on rousing new cut STCU. A warm melodic and smooth track blending soulful vocals and chill beats.

Speaking on the release, Dante states: “Juicy is a legend and it was a true honour to work with him. He even added a few of his signature touches to the production to give the song that much more energy. We grew up fans of that OG southern hip-hop, artists like UGK, 8Ball & MJG and Three Six Mafia, and always wanted to experiment with that sound from a R&B perspective.”

The post LA based duo THEY. release melodic and smooth track STCU. with Juicy J appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

It has probably always been said that times are getting tougher. But nothing lasts forever, right? … in any case it’s always nice to take a break and enjoy a little bit of freedom these days. Enjoy this amazing black and white set starring Esther Rodriguez photographed by Madrid based Charly Calderon. Thank you <3

“After a long time we met again at the end of the summer. For a few hours we forgot the start of the work season. We put on music, and we felt free with the sunset.”

Photo: Charly Calderon www.instagram.com/charlycalderon
Model: Esther Rodriguez  www.instagram.com/estherodfer

The post Sunset Feeling appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Kevin Bago is a 30 years old professional dancer. Growing up in Paris with his mother, his sister and brother he always knew that he wanted to follow his dream and to dance from a very young age. When he had an eye-accident 10 years ago that lead to loosing the sight of his left eye some things in his life changed forever but not his love for dancing and life.

With this insightful portrait film female director Nathalie De Lopez presents a part of his story that is full of resilience. “Dance or Die” carries a message of hope and strength at a time when the world most needs it.

Tell us about your career as a dancer?

I started dancing when I was 18. I followed my best friend to a nightclub where I saw people dancing electro so I wanted to learn it too. I joined a group called Alliance Crew and I had training and championships with them, battles, solos, …all went really, really well. And from there, a friend of the group introduced me to Bianca Li, a choreographer-director, who had the idea of starting a new company with a new style of dance. She offered me to do a show with her and that’s where I started to perform on stage. At the same time I was in training to learn other things: I learned classical, contemporary, modern dance, tap dance etc. The paradox was that I was still in school and already dancing professionally on stage. I started working as a pro dancer very quickly, but in my head, I wasn’t really one yet: I knew I still had a lot to learn. To me, someone who is pro is a chameleon, someone very versatile. It took me a long time to think of myself as a pro. Then from Bianca Li, I moved on to other choreographers, other styles of professional dance.

Why did you choose dance?

What attracted me to dancing was the freedom of expression. Each person has his own way of expressing himself in movement, it can reveal the diversity found in other people or yourself. I would describe my dance as “Plural”. I want to convey emotions and messages. Dance should not be inaccessible. Everyone can dance, but they may not realize it.

What happened during your accident?

I had an eye accident. That was 10 years ago when I was 20. We were at a music festival with friends from dance training, in the Saint Michel district of Paris, and there were people a little more drunk than others who were having fun throwing bottles. Unfortunately, a bottle landed on the head of a friend who was on my left and as the bottle burst I turned around and a shard landed in my left eye and it cut the pupil. I had to urgently go to the hospital for an operation and that is where my life turned upside down.

I lost vision in my left eye while I was still training and had to relearn how to manage space and balance. At that point, I was very hesitant to continue dancing. I doubted it for a while. But I had no choice, because it was all my life… so I just kept going, I persevered and then there you go…

“What attracted me in dancing was the freedom of expression.”

What do you remember from this moment?

At the time, I didn’t realize what was going to happen. It was after the doctor’s visit to the hospital, when he delivered his verdict, that I realized the seriousness of the accident and that it would change my whole life.

I had the support of my family, my ex-girlfriend, a lot of people from the training. I was surrounded by many but, in the end, you sleep alone. There are always those moments that come back, when you are in your bed and you say to yourself: “what am I doing here, why was I there, why did I do that, why did I not come back directly? ”

I was in great pain but at the same time I was confident. I knew I would get used to it over time and that anyway, I had no choice. I had to live with it. There are many dancers who are missing a leg. In my case, I’m missing an eye. I told myself that I was also able to continue without it.

What has changed: the relationship with others, the look that is especially important in dance… even socially in everyday life. This accident made me think differently, and it changed me. Today, I feel okay with myself. For example, I fully accept my eye and have managed to make it a strength. From the moment you assert what people on the outside might see as a flaw, then you immediately see it as something extra, which sets you apart from other people. I then learned to deal with it, and to have it as a weapon as well.

Your outlook on life today?

I approach life with optimism. I advance. I ask myself a lot less questions. I restrict myself a lot less. I do things for myself, for my artistic journey and for my well-being as well. In the ends, this event gave me confidence, motivation and it showed me that you can go through tough trials. I realised I have support and resources so I’m a lot less afraid of what may happen tomorrow.

“The accident changed me. I approach life with optimism. I ask myself a lot less questions. And I do things for myself, for my artistic journey and for my well-being as well.”

Any advice to share?

The advice I could give to new dancers would be to listen to yourself, trust your instincts and above all to work, to go at your own pace.

What values are important to you?

The fundamental values in my life today: forgiveness and above all respect, for oneself and for others. Respect for people is essential, it is something normal, but respecting yourself is just as important. Don’t forget yourself.

Starring : Kevin Bago
Director : Nathalie de Lopez
Music : Polérik Rouvière
Director of photography : Julien Teissier
Steadycam operator : Sacha Naceri
First assistant : Pierre Valentin Ferdani
Second assistant : Manon Delville
Artistic direction : GANGSTER PROJECTxHart
Colorist : Arthur Paux
Editor : Zoé Sassier
Line director : Siham Gouy Menaa
Post producer : Axel Kpatinde
Production : Shadow Lab

The post French dancer Kevin Bago dances off his pain in new short film “Dance or Die” appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

“This was my first time working with Kacie; and I must say, she came prepared with fire looks and an amazing, vibrant personality.” tells us Southern California based photographer Tristan Hughes about this great little series starring writer and model Kacie Margis. “It didn’t take long for her to get comfortable in front of the camera, and once I showed her the new volume of C-Heads Magazine, we had to incorporate it.”

Tristan & Kacie, thank you so much for including our new C-Heads Print Magazine – we are in love.

Photography by Tristan Hughes | @shotbyhughes
Model: Kacie Margis | @kace_face1
Location: San Diego, CA

The post A moment with Kacie & C-Heads appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

If music can accomplish this, then it has done everything right. With his new emotional and personal song “Soundless Motion” in which he processes the struggles that can arise out of growing up, the 17- year young Birmingham singer and songwriter Matt Ryder gives us goose bumps. We absolutely had to find out more about this talented artist!

When did you decide to pursue music as your career?

From an early age I was interested in the performing arts, I started learning piano around age 6 and guitar around age 8, but I think the first time I even considered music as a career was when I discovered Ableton at age 10. This is when I began to realise I could make and record music for others to listen to from my bedroom. It was also around this time I began songwriting and learning to express myself through music.

And what did your parents first think of you being a musician and were they supportive?

As I say, from a young age I was into the creative arts so I think they probably saw it coming in some form or another. My parents have always been massively supportive and for that I will always be grateful. I consider myself so lucky to have such amazing support from my family, my parents in particular. I always play every track I finish to them first no matter what. This type of support is the best in my eyes as they are so dedicated to me, my music and just my general growth as a person and as an artist, it’s really amazing.

Your new song “Soundless Motion” is about “turning away from innocence and childhood freedom to surrender to mature and toxic thoughts.” Can you tell us more about it?

I think the song really reflects my past experiences and others own experiences. I think kids my age all develop and move forward in different ways. But the main idea of this song is to reflect on the events that occur on that thin line between childhood and the ‘freedom’ of adulthood. I watched my friends grow up so fast and I felt left behind, not wanting to step over the threshold as, to be honest, still to this day it scares me. I’ve watched so many people I know change at the hand of these ‘experiences’ that on reflection are manufactured nightmares, at the time of writing the track I was in the middle of this toxic social bubble in which I felt trapped.  Everyone would talk about everyone else, a complete lack of privacy led to me hearing others experiences and it allowed me to compare these to my own. I think that is why my feeling was so intense while making the track, as everyone knows when you’re trapped inside a loud, messy and toxic situation all you want to do is escape.

“I think kids my age all develop and move forward in different ways. But the main idea of this song is to reflect on the events that occur on that thin line between childhood and the ‘freedom’ of adulthood.”

What are your major inspirations inside and outside of music?

I draw inspiration from so many places, mainly outside of music, in the form of experience as a teenager and others experiences. Experience was definitely the main focus of ‘Soundless Motion’ but I find myself more recently drawing inspiration from films and other art. Visuals influence me a lot, and as I was writing this music I had images and sequences in my head that definitely helped me find more honest and emotional music. Musically however my main influences are varied, Coldplay ‘Parachutes’ is one of my favourite albums of all time, Bonobo, RY X, Hiatus Kaiyote, Tyler, The Creator and more recently 박혜진 Park Hye Jin.

One of the happiest moments this week has been…?

The happiest moment of this week was probably returning to college after lockdown and managing to reconnect with all my friends I haven’t seen in 6 months. I think being involved in social situations and keeping sociable is one of the most important things when it comes to keeping creative and stimulating yourself.

What values are important for you in other people?

In the last few years I have learnt that connecting with people and offering help, rather than trying to compete, or see them struggle, builds bonds that can carry everyone forward positively. It’s probably an age thing, or a school thing, but I would say to anyone in a toxic relationship – with one person or a group, just remove yourself from the situation if you have to, and find new connections.

photography by Milly Cope

The post Escaping with Matt Ryder´s new track “Soundless Motion” appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

Let´s start the day with a beautiful smile by model Victoria. Enjoy this summerly series photographed by Jonathan Benbaruk.

“The location in Mougins in the South of France has sweeping views of the mountains and on a clear day the sea is visible, it is a place I cherish.” Jonathan (who also contributed to our current print issue) explains. “Victoria showed up to the set with a great attitude which you can see shine through in the photographs. I was lucky to have the extremely talented designer and Creative Director Alexandra Benitah as my stylist.”

Photographer/Creative Director: Jonathan Benbaruk
www.jonathanbenbaruk.com
www.instagram.com/jonathanbenbaruk
Model: Victoria
www.instagram.com/enjoymodelsagency
Creative Director/Stylist:
www.instagram.com/alexandrabenitah

The post Her smile talkin’ appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.

A sweet whispering „Olá“ .

Das Meer am Kissen
Nachts, wenn die Sehnsucht
zu gross,
die Freiheit
zu fern,
zu laut der Lärm.
Vor der Tür angekommen,
ein leises portugiesisches
„Olá“
heisst mich willkommen.

Photography and poem by Almira Avdyli
All images are photographed during her multiple visits and longterm stay
between 2016 – 2019 in Portugal.

www.almiraavdyli.com
instagram/almiraavdyli
facebook/almiraavdyli

The post The ocean on my pillow appeared first on C-Heads Magazine.